Addicted

Hey you! Yes you. Come closer. I'm about to reveal a secret. Don't tell anyone but I have an addiction.

Every morning I wake and my heart thumps for it. I hide it from other people and have taken to doing it alone, in my car. No one else has known the depths of it ... until now.

My every waking moment is consumed by killing pigs. Not actual pigs. Small green pigs who hide in stone, glass and wood houses and often wear helmets. That's right, I'm addicted to Angry Birds.

For those who don't know Angry Birds is an 'app', an evil app, that involves firing birds from a sling shot in order to kill pigs (well, why wouldn't you when those evil little pigs have stolen your eggs).

It's good to know I'm not alone. More than 50 million people have downloaded Angry Pigs, making it one of the most mainstream, and addictive, games. Around the world almost 1 million hours of Angry Birds is played every day. There's even talk of a movie.

When I'm not playing angry birds my other addiction is watching TV shows about people with addictions. Shows like Eataholics, where people are addicted to one type of food. On Eataholics last night one unfortunate fellow was addicted to Yorkshire Pudding (eating 24 puds a day). Another woman was addicted to cheese and consumed more than 550 pizza a year.

Why are we always addicted to the things that are bad for us? How much better would the world be if I was  addicted, say, to consuming my recommended daily intake of fibre each day, to hanging out the washing, or to finishing my next book.

And how much better would the world be if those 1 million hours spent killing cartoon pigs each day was devoted to, say, world peace.