Have you ever watched any of those transformations shows on TV. You know, where someone's life is changed over an hour episode. You know that you're only seeing a small part of what that person has gone through but, somehow, they make it seem so simple, neat, packaged-up, that it makes it look easy.
But transformation is not simple, there's never really a miracle (except when serendipity sends the right person, or message at just the right time, which can seem miraculous). Change is heart-wrenchingly difficult. Change is not comfortable, in fact, by it's very nature it is the opposite of comfort. Change is filled with doubt, fear and tears. Change requires letting go and, if you've ever tried aerial acrobatics you'll know letting go is always the hardest part.
And I should know, my life has changed a lot lately and it has taken every bit of my courage (and support by some fabulous family, friends and colleagues) to get as far as I have. There have been times I've been so filled with doubt that it's been crippling. Sleepless nights and stressed out days, have been common. All I can hope is that the end will be worth it.
I wanted to speak up about it in this blog because I think there are plenty of people out there who are going through a transformation who feel like they are alone in their struggle, like other people have it easier, like there are just too many mountains to climb. And I would hate for those people to compare themselves with others who have changed, whose change (from the outside) looks easy, to find it too hard, and just want to give up.
I'm lucky because in many ways my triathlon training has prepared me to cope with the strain and heartache of change. Because, no matter how much support I have there are always so many hard and lonely hours of training. So much pain that nobody else sees or experiences. So many times when it has come down to just putting one foot in front of another. Yet I know, when I cross the finish line it will all be worth it.